There was about a couple of times that I did the
pea****ing. I did that to see if it worked because I heard
that other guys were doing it.
When I went out I felt ridiculous and was totally
incongruent with my personality.
As we all know women love's fashion and they like a
well-dressed man.
I noticed that some of my best pickups occurred when I was
in my workout clothes, or I was wearing something really
basic - like jeans and a tanktop.
At the same time, women definitely did not respond well to
those muscled-up guys wearing revealing spandex, or
super-tight shirts at the club.
It got me thinking... that maybe it's not how flashy or
costly are the cloths should be.
Maybe there's something else aside from that.
Actually, there are two things going on, and you must
manage, or balance these two things.
The first thing is, never seek approval from women. You are
totally toast, if a woman can tell you that you are trying
to impress her or make her like you.
So if you look like you got dressed with the intention of
getting women's attention, they'll see you coming a mile a
way and put up their defenses.
You DON'T have to look like a pick up artist.
To dress modestly and not put too much thought into it
avails much.
However, you don't want to look sloppy. You want to present
yourself in the best way you can.
This comes back to self-expression.
You already have a sense of what kind of guy you are, what
your "scene" is, what you think is cool.
Never change that.
Instead, develop it, with these simple tweaks.
Wear colors that appeal to your skin tone and hair color.
This isn't rocket science. Go to an upscale men's clothing
store, and ask someone about this. Or look online.
Next, make sure your clothes are clean, and wrinkle free,
and reasonably up-to-date. A woman should not have to worry
about bringing you around her friends.
Lastly, make sure your clothes fit well, meaning, they
ACCENTUATE YOUR MASCULINE PHYSIQUE.
Square your shoulders and wear shirts that narrow your
waist.
Wear pants that make your legs look long and thin.
Wear shoes that make your feet look big and well-formed.
Clean up yourself - nose, neck, and ear hairs. Get a
respectable haircut. Figure out what looks great for if you
shave or not to shave, and take it all the way.
One other thing...
Accessories should hang off you loosely, and have the look
of a small decoration that says, "yeah, I can ****."
Use your intuition with this one. I don't want to say too
much because that's a whole other topic.
I usually let my girlfriend pick out clothes for me - not
for MY benefit..
... so that she doesn't feel ashamed if we go together to
the public!
If I were the one to pick my clothes, I'd rather pick the
sweats and t-shirt, coupled with my old worn sneakers. I
mean, I think fashion is silly.
I can absolutely appreciate the aspect of design and style
of fashion. When I looked at the able-bodied dressed woman,
her outfits is like of art, and I dig that.
But when a guy is "too stylish" I kinda lose respect for
him.
Don't get me wrong, a man should present himself like he
means to be taken seriously. A nice suit, good quality,
well-fitting clothes are a fundamental part of masculine
expression.
But some men take it too far.
Case in point, the obsession with "pea****ing" in the
pickup Community for the past several years.
When I hear this term it makes me cringe.
YOU ARE NOT A PEACOCK.
If you're not familiar with "pea****ing," let me explain.
A while ago, there was an emergence of routine-based
"game," relying heavily on superficial techniques, status
games, and over-analysis of social interactions.
This always gone in the opposite direction and I never saw
the value of it.
Reason for this is that I saw how pretending to be someone
other than yourself, and saying jokes and routines that
other guys came up with JUST FELT WRONG.
The PRIMARY FOCUS of all these strategy and game-playing
was to visibly get approval from women, but making them feel
insecure and they'd think you were cooler than them.
Think about the layers in the dating approach. Not only are
you faking your personality because you
a) seek approval (as if women were an authority on what
makes a man a man)
b) keep the fact that you're seeking approval
c) play games with women so that they feel insecure and try
to seek your approval
YUCK
One of the main techniques of this approach was to
"pea****," to dress up in a really loud, ostentatious way so
that women would "notice" you and want to talk to you.
Now there's nothing wrong with wearing a nice watch, or a
necklace that has some personal meaning.
But don't do it to make women like you.
I'm sure a lot of you guys have seen the advocates of this
approach on TV shows, straining to make sense out of this
hare-brained "technique."
I felt sad to the students of other pickup schools that
I've encountered because these poor guys were not only
nervous, clumsy, misdirected...they looked RETARDED.
So I'd like to set a record when it comes to fashion and
meeting girls.
There are only few things that you need to focus when it
comes to your appearance.
After knowing this stuff, you should put it out of your
mind and TAKE ACTION before women can notice you.
Before we move on, I have a secret that has to reveal.
Today we will talk about the topic called SHAPING. Specifically shaping in the behavior of a woman.
There are a number of tools of shaping that are used to set a strong precedent of behavior in a woman.
Here's a Quick Question >>>
Do you remember feeling motivated in a situation with a woman, and she talked about how she loved when her boyfriend did something very specific?
Perhaps it makes you think to do the same exact thing?
-or-
Do you remember feeling motivated to answer in a way to impress the woman when she asked you if you were reliable, honest or had a good relationship with your family?
Of course... we've all been there.
Now what's important here is not what the outcome was in those situations, but only to be aware of the truth that you were emotionally compelled to behave in a certain way...
Whether your woman knew it or not (most likely she didn't) she was SHAPING you.
Hey this isn't necessarily a bad thing... For people do it to each other all the time.
But most of the time, you are encouraging a woman to behave in a way that is not aligned with your desired outcome.
So starting right now we will change that.
There are a number of ways you can start to apply shaping in your interactions with women.
And I've split them into 5 different categories.
Now don't get me wrong. For this is a huge topic, and I could literally teach an entire seminar on shaping ALONE. So right now I just want to get the seeds planted in your mind so that you can begin to grasp the higher level ideas, and start to incorporate them into your interactions.
So let's look at the five different categories of shaping.
1. Screening questions.
These questions is specifically designed to:
A) Get a woman to answer a specific way and
B) Start to behave in a manner more congruent with how she just answered you.
There are many types of screening questions, and above all you should use them in the right context.
For example, you wouldn't start a conversation with a woman with the question "Do you consider yourself to be independent?"... but it might come later on.
Screening questions are by far the least subtle and most overt out of all the shaping techniques.
They are easiest to employ right away, but because they cause a sharp emotional response, they may seem transparent and obvious to the woman.
2. Showing that you value certain behaviors or personality traits.
This is very similar to screening questions, except this time you are making a statement.
It's a little less obvious, but it is no where near as subtle as the remaining 3 techniques.
Instead of saying something like "What was the most spontaneous thing you've ever done?" (which is a screening question) You might say something like "Spontaneity is really important to me. It not only keeps things fresh and exciting, but also reminds me of our incredible freedom in life."
Because you are justifying your statement with a truism (it's hard to argue that spontaneity keeps things fresh and exciting), she cannot disagree and will be motivated to agree that spontaneity is important.
And because she's committed to saying spontaneity is important, she will now behave in a way consistent with that.
3. Setting a strong precedent through storytelling.
Now we're getting warmer.
This concept along with the next two, are very devious.
They are so devious, in fact, that women use them all the time.
It's funny actually - my sister recently sat in on a recent DiClassified Drills workshop in NYC and I was surprised to discover that she not only agreed with the effectiveness of my techniques, but also - had already used many of them naturally!
Of course this makes sense, seeing that many of my best techniques have been stolen directly from the women I know who have the very best game.
The idea in this 3rd concept is that you will tell a story that portrays what standards you expect, so that she can live up to them.
For example, you could say to a woman, very early in the interaction something like:
"One thing that is great about my friend Sarah, is that she is extremely thoughtful. Last night I mentioned that I was thinking of going shopping for a few new shirts, and not two hours later she dropped off this month's copy of GQ magazine on her way to the gym. Only problem now is, I have TOO MANY new ideas for a new outfit."
The beauty of that is, it doesn't even have to be true!
(I'm not going to make a moral decision for you here, I'm sure that you're more than capable. But for the record, these techniques have the exact same effect on a woman whether they are true or not)
4. Pointing out a desired personality trait while ignoring the undesirable.
This is classic shaping, and can be used freely to amplify existing behaviors and personality traits.
The idea is that - if you see a woman doing something (for example, drinking like crazy while out in a bar) you can comment on this in the following way.
Taking this single behavior - drinking like crazy, there are different components to it, some good, some bad.
Let's say you like the free-spirited aspect of it, but you don't like the fact that she may not have a lot of self control...
You could say:
"Wow, you're so much fun! and so-free spirited. It's cool you do things you really want to do, and don't rely for others for direction. You follow your own desires."
By pointing out behaviors, you are in fact rewarding them and amplifying that same behavior in the future.
By selecting the aspect of her behaviors you like, and calling attention to them, you are SHAPING the girl's future behavior.
(By the way, the above example is useful when going for a same-night-lay with a girl. You tell her she makes her own decisions and she'll be less likely to listen to her friends when they suggest that she shouldn't go home with you. Sneaky, but also killer in the field)
5. Reward calibration
Like for instance, giving a woman cues as to how to perceive you based on the nature of the way you reward her 'good' behavior. This is highly advanced, and I am far beyond the scope of this newsletter.
Just understand that if you have determined what you will acknowledge as "good" behavior from a woman, it is to your benefit to reward her with something you want her to work for or chase after.
Hint: It should be either affection, physicality or sex, but NOT a material or monetary. Violating this rule is the surest way to CREATE a gold digger!
(YES. Gold diggers are not born gold diggers. They are CREATED on a case by case basis by the men in their lives. See a woman as a gold digger, and that my friend, is what she will be.)
There are many different conceptualizations of sexual tension floating around in the seduction community.
Some of these techniques are better than others, and can definitely improve the quality and success of your pickups.
Some examples of these are ****y bantering and flirting, explicit sexual interest paired with false barriers, using the word “sexy” to convey a sexual intent, and of course the old Speed Seduction route – complex language patterns intended to implant sexual thoughts in a woman’s mind.
I prefer a very pure definition of sexual tension because it is grounded in real sexual desire, and a very natural way of magnifying the tension felt by the woman.
Sexual tension is dominant in an interaction with a woman.
It is the energy, or charge of the interaction. Its application is subtle, but powerful.
Sexual tension is the presence of a controlled arousal state, in the absence of overt sexual interest.
In a proper time, I create sexual tension by focusing my sexual desire on my woman, but not making any visible advances. I maintain intrigue, a sense of expression, which keeps her focused on me, and directs her mind toward sexual thoughts. My state is transferred to her, and she is now aroused. It is then only a matter of handling logistics through leadership and compliance techniques.
Controlled Sexual Arousal State
There are two reasons why a sexually aroused state is so important:
First, women love to be become intimate. A sexual man is valuable to a woman because he can give her pleasure. Women are attracted to men who are attracted to women.
The second reason is more subtle. There is a phenomenon I call “state-transfer.” Have you ever been in a bad mood, and a friend came by in a really great, excited mood?
Your mood probably changed, and you found yourself smiling and cheering up in spite of yourself.
How do you feel around someone when they are nervous? You feel nervous too!
Think of a time you were with a woman, or your girlfriend, and she was obviously very horny and sexually arousing, but you weren’t doing anything sexual. You'll probably get excited because she was excited. This is how humans hypnotize each other in every day life – we transfer our states to each other.
Can you see where this is going?
State transfer may occur on a metaphysical, psychic energy level. But more so, a state is transferred with non-verbal sub communication. When you are turned on, your voice subtly (or not so subtly) reflects your state, as do your facial expressions, eye contact, manner of touching, body language, and a million other little things to numerous to try to micromanage.
How to have a controlled arousal state
State control is not only vital in seduction, but in life. It allows you to stay calm, generally happy, and more productive. In spiritual terms, it is sometimes called “staying centered” or having “peace of mind.”
And it’s not as simple as just being turned on, although that’s part of it. State control is vital - if you are nervous or uncomfortable, you won’t be able to get sexually aroused.
The best way to stay calm and comfortable in social situations is experience. Socialize more, go out (sober), get experience talking to women.
Meditation, good diet, avoidance of harmful indulgences like drug use, television, internet, and regular exercise all help.
Creating Tension
For the “getting turned on” part, raising your testosterone level will have an incredible effect. Natural ways to increase testosterone include heavy weight training (squats, deadlifts, bench press, etc.) zinc supplementation, eating lots of animal protein, and if possible, have a regular intimacy.
You already know how to get aroused. During your interactions with women, simply focus on what she’d look like naked, or imagine become intimate with her, or whatever fun little thoughts you want to entertain.
The tension component is really an extension of the second level of the Attraction Hierarchy - Intrigue. Intrigue can be described in two ways. It can be seen as a lack of over-validating a woman, or getting her attention fixated on you by being ambiguous and holding back information.
These are flip sides of the same coin. Applied to sexual tension, we enter a sexual state, but don’t verbalize the desire.
If you did, she may like it or not, That isn’t bad, but it’s not optimal. She has you figured out, and has already an idea that you want her, which gives her the option of forgetting about you and focusing elsewhere. You are “solved.”
Another key point about verbalizing sexual interest is that it puts her in a position where she has to agree to it. She must consciously admit that this is leading of becoming intimate. Again, that’s not bad, but is not optimal, and sometimes can create a mental block in her mind for getting isolated with you.
Imagine sitting in a room with a closed treasure chest in front of you. Then you open it and find gold coins. Do you still find the chest more interesting?
True, the gold coins are great, but there’s no longer a mystery. You can even forget about the gold coins for a while to go watch TV or call a friend, because those coins aren’t going anywhere.
But before you know what’s in there, that chest preoccupies your mind and keeps your attention.
Once you have mastered that concept, you're well on your way.
How do you let a women know that the vibe you're putting off in the beginning is the real you?
Or better yet how does she know that after she sleeps with you all of what you said will be backed up?
These questions have the same answer.
Credibility.
Most guys that think they don't have enough value, 90% of it, it's credibility they lack. In fact, most of everything used to create value these days only serves to make a nasty woman-repelling player vibe.
"Player vibe" is not actually a bad vibe, but a mistake in building and maintaining credibility.
Able to create credibility is one of the key components to sleeping with a woman quickly.
The other component is sexual tension.
And as a good student of pick-up, you know that some women need sexual tension to sleep with you and the other half need credibility first. (You do know that, right?)
So let's get down to it:
There are three levels of credibility.
1. Safety: The most basic and fundamental level of credibility, you need to demonstrate SAFETY before a woman will be alone with you and sleep with you.
2. Commonality: You need to demonstrate commonality in order for a woman to continue sleeping with you, or have a relationship with you.
3. Direction: You need to show direction in order to get a woman to leave her current boyfriend or change her existing life plans to be with you.
A WORD ABOUT SOCIAL PROGRAMMING
You have to realize that every person you meet is socially programmed in a different way. Even you have social programming. We all do.
It's not really a bad thing. On the contrary, it's very useful.
Realize that although we understand a lot of a woman's behaviors come from her social programming, we can't expect her to realize that.
If men have evolved an instinct to try to sleep with as many women as possible, women have evolved an instinct to choose guys who demonstrate a high chance of sticking around and able to raise children.
And this instinct is reinforced by social programming.
Her programming is her reality. Her programming is literally her world.
And credibility is about showing you understand her world.
HERE'S AN EXAMPLE ->
Think about if you were in your bedroom. Comfortably warm sitting in a chair.
And then a guy came in. And he said he was cold. And wanted to turn up the heat. Then he told you he liked the couch you were sitting in. And asked if he could urinate in the corner.
You would feel pretty uncomfortable with him. You might even think he's crazy.
He's showing you that he's not seeing the same reality as you. He's "in his own world".
Because he has shown you that he doesn't understand your world, and doesn't respect your world - you probably wouldn't connect with him, I bet you wouldn't trust a guy like that or feel like giving him compliance.
This is how women feel when you don't demonstrate credibility.
If she thinks that it's a bad thing for people to kiss and tell (and most women do) -> You should show her you ALSO believe it's bad for people to kiss and tell.
The fact that you have the same perceptions about the world as her will build your credibility immensely.
You can think of the three levels in this way:
Safety - It's safe to have you in her world.
Commonality - You see the same things in her world. (Similar perceptions, values, and goals)
Direction - You have the ability to rearrange and alter her world.
These are best demonstrated in order.
And you can get really good at this. At first, guys are usualy good at meeting a certain kind of woman.
It's because he naturally understands a certain type of worldview.
But as you get good, you'll start to be able to match ANY woman's worldview.
The best way of doing this is by anticipating her thoughts and verbalizing her feelings or views about the world, as if they are your own.
At first you will just be remembering things she's said in the past, and then repeating it after she's forgotten she's said anything.
Then you will get good at pacing her reality and leading. Eventually it gets to the point where you can intuitively understand her reality. Then she will trust you to change it for her. You enter her world, and then start teaching her new things about HER world.
That's when you know you get this thing.
When someone comes along who understands a woman's reality so well, she doesn't just think he's perceptive and skilled, she just feels a connection.
She thinks "He's just like me!"
This is really the easiest thing in the world. Yet so many people mess it up.
It's a major piece and you'll watch your game improve dramatically once you get this.
When I started to get good, and could escalate quickly with any girl, I remember those girls I slept with but couldn't keep around.
And that is quite depressing.
So many women had the potential to be great girlfriends.
But I had my head up my ass.
...maybe that's a little rude.
But either way it comes down to TWO distinct problems:
First, I was trying to prove something to myself. I was still a recovering nerd. And I've never fully recovered. But I've stopped trying to recover. And that's what's made me move past this "proving myself" thing.
I've accepted who I am.
Sure, I like video games and comic books.
But...
Do you think women have cooler interests?
Is shopping, getting drunk and Myspace are cooler than what I'm into?
It's all are the same.
What it really need is self-acceptance.
If you don't accept yourself, women won't accept you also.
Can you picture out a woman wanting to be your girlfriend and you don't like yourself?
She will HATE to be with you and not wanting to be around with you.
Because if you don't like yourself, you can't really like her. And if you do like her, but not yourself, then you look like a total loser. And who wants to date a loser?
It may sound easy, but self-acceptance is hard to do. How many times have you hear these from people "I don't care what anyone thinks of me!"
Based on my experience, almost all DON'T ACCEPT themselves completely.
And I'm not excepted from them.
How you accept yourself is how women find you attractive, and people likes to be around you.
It may be hard to completely accept yourself. There is an old beliefs creep in and saying you are not enough, that you must be more than yourself now.
But the degree to which you eliminate these thoughts is the degree to which your game becomes better.
Because the real game is about yourself and not doubting about yourself. And the game doesn't end after your opener, after a few dates, after "making love." It never ends that way.
Because it is you.
You are not divided from your game.
The "game" is the degree to which you can express who you really are. Your game IS YOU.
Maybe you think "But I'm nervous and insecure and awkward." I don't agree. That's not you.
That is the vague you.
That is you trying to come out, but your ego, your old mental habits stop you from expressing what you really want to express.
Before I get too deep into that, I want to move on to the second reason why I couldn't keep women around after I slept with them.
I am not aware of shaping.
And shaping is all about knowing what YOU want. If you don't know what you want, you can't shape. And knowing what you want is really just an extension of self-acceptance.
In fact, what applied to others is self-acceptance. You know what you like, and you encourage girls to be that for you.
You see, women are very flexible. They have many sides that they can reveal to a man. Men usually implicitly tell women to be selfish, mean, and act like they are better than the man.
But it's not the woman's fault. She's just doing what she's told. Women are always looking to men to get a sense of reality.
So if you come to a woman and treat her like she's on a pedestal, she will act accordingly.
If you approach a woman and treat her like she's lucky that you approached her, she will feel that way.
Same through after mating, if you treat her like she should stay in your life and nurture your lifestyle, she will do so.
This was tackled deeper in our workshop. I've developed a lot of things to shape a woman to be EXACTLY the kind of woman I want in my life.
Women are different from each other. Like for instance, I may want a girl to be just a partner in bed. I may want another woman to be a sugar mama! I may want another one to be a girlfriend. It all depends on what you want.
I used to remember all the crappy, frustrating relationships I have.
And how frustrating it was to not see those women again using all the hookups I had as a young pickup artist.
But once I began to accept myself and figure out what I wanted, it all came together.
The Attraction Code is all about figuring out who you are, accepting and cultivating your character, and then applying that to the women you want to meet, sleep with, and date.
The Attraction Code is a MUST HAVE if you are struggling with self acceptance and letting the real YOU shine.
A lot of time, a man can feel like a slave to his natural need to procreate.
Then there goes a common quote, "He thinks with his... You know."
Well it can be hard to NOT think that way if you aren't physically satisfied.
But men are also goal oriented.
We make our actions to achieve things and influence the world in a positive way.
I've personally faced one of the biggest challenges and it is balancing the two - my carnal obsession and achieving my goals.
When you are single, dating can consume a lot of time. Women will suck away at your time if you don't know what you're doing.
Before you know it, you are spending hours in the park, feeding the birds and cuddling...now
there's nothing wrong with spending quality time with your girlfriend, AS LONG AS YOU DON'T compromise YOUR GOALS IN LIFE.
Goals take time, likewise to women.
In fact, it's a woman's NATURE to get the man's time - it's her way of getting you to invest in her. If she gets pregnant there's a lesser chance of you leaving her (this comes from our caveman days, so to speak).
It is really tricky to manage your time with women. You see, most men want to give their time to women. By nature men are "givers."
They like to please women, protect them, and give them good feelings.
Guys have also a urges that can completely take over your thinking.
Both of these things can get in the way of you making the most of your life, your time.
I want you take a moment and ask this to yourself, "WHAT DO I REALLY WANT TO GIVE TO WOMEN?"
Now I know it wasn't about "money," or "control over my life," or "lots of my free time."
It was probably something like "good feelings, sexual pleasure, relaxation, excitement, feeling of safety, make her smile or feel good about herself, etc."
I think men have problems with how they use their time with women in two ways.
First, they think that the gifts they REALLY want to give aren't that valuable, so they overcompensate with other stuff - like spending too much time or money on a woman.
Second, men think that they are "getting" something valuable when a girl spends time with them.
Guys was brainwash by the society to believe that women are a prize to attain, and that there's some inherent value in a pretty face.
It's not TRUE!
The best thing is to see women for what they are, nothing more, nothing less. They are cute, sometimes fun, but ultimately not that important, AND THEY CAN'T COMPLETE YOUR LIFE!
Now it is really hard to break out of this mental prison of feeling inferior to women.
Your mental habits are subtle and hard to notice because you've been doing them for years.
Young men are taught that their urges is crude and silly, and that it is just a favor that women ALLOWS them to mate with them.
There's a syndrome that I call a "doofus dad" syndromeThere's another societal factor going on. In almost every TV commercial and sitcom, the "dad" or "boyfriend" or "husband" is a dopey, incompetent goof, and the mom/daughter/girlfriend/wife has to use her superior intelligence to fix the situation.
This leads to the perception that women are "better," and thus, their time is more valuable than yours.
If your time is not so valuable, then you will feel obligated to give her LOTS OF IT.
But here's the thing - you won't be present for most of that time, if you are giving a woman too much time. You will be distracted, resentful, you will give her your "half-assed" attention.
I just realize this after analyzing lots of dates I went on women.
After that I started to give my FULL ATTENTION to women even though I'm only giving a smaller amounts of my time.
Aside from making our time better, this creates a VAST ATTRACTION because I left women craving more.
Now my girlfriends can't get enough of me - in fact, I don't GIVE THEM "enough."
Ask you know, "enough" would mean, "overexposure" to me, and women can't be pulled to what they already have.
The proper way to manage your time is by being HONEST. And I don't recommend you to play games with women and pretend to be busy or whatever.
No need of games, just be real with the girl - and don't spend more time that you want.
Enjoy whatever free time you have with women but still with focus on your personal goals.
Be the man on the go. Now in a short amount of time it requires that you are able to meet a lot of women, which I'll have to cover in another newsletter.
It's not good to see that men waste their lives chasing and "putting up with" girls, and then they are left out ALONE.
Remember that women aren't property that you can keep or somehow bring with you when you die. It doesn't mean that you can "keep" the women if you invest all your time with her.
One more thing here - if you start being honest with the amount of time you are willing give to a woman, you may feel GUILTY.
It's either a girl will try to make you feel guilty, or you will feel it on your own. This is ok, it just means you have a weak focus.
If you are following your true ways, it will usually from the social norm.
If you are in the habit of adopting the values that others try to impose onto you, you will probably experience some tension, guilt, discomfort, even loneliness at first.
That's why I set and develop the Attraction Code. It's all about self-control, finding true path, and letting the real 'you' emerge from within.
And there's no need for us to impose our goals onto you. Given the proper guidance, I know you are able to do that for yourself.
If you are interested in meeting, attracting and keeping a "10", then you should read this letter.
But before anything else, let's go waaaay back...
It was in my high school, that there was a girl in my class who was seems so perfect.
She was smart, cool, and so beautiful it was hard to look at her (and yet I couldn't look away)...
She was one of the popular kids, but was friendly to everyone.
Occasionally we talked and as I look back I realize that we were flirting (I was so stupid to realize at that time).
I badly wanted to ask her to a senior prom but I chickened out at the last minute.
A few years later I realized she had a crush on me all senior year.
I have talked to lot of men and this seems a common experience to them. they missed an opportunity to meet this ONE SPECIAL WOMAN who you crushed on from afar, or the girl had broke their heart...
Ah, the hard to tame "10," a perfect girl that every guy dream of but never seems to have it.
I have a lot to say about the concept of "10's," In deeper sense they are another "breed" of women, but it is on the way they think that makes them so.
Understanding the reality of the extremely beautiful women and understanding your own fascination for a perfect women will help you resolve this conundrum, and might even help you in finding your "perfect girl."
First of all, the concept of a "10" is a myth. There is no such thing as a perfect human being. No woman is more "valuable" just because she looks nicer than other women.
A woman that turns you on and have a great chemistry with you is the only true "10" and is the one that's perfect for you.
Following this reasoning, the world is full of 10's, given you have the skills to meet a lot of women and create options for yourself.
Treating a woman differently than other women just because she is prettier is a recipe for failure.
Why?
Because a lot of guys do that.
A woman knows what you're thinking and sees you as shallow.
But there definitely are certain women that seem on another "level" of beauty than the rest. These women get treated much differently than other women.
This is important to understand so that you know how to deal with these kinds of women.
As what I've said, you shouldn't treat women "differently."
Let me clear this up.
You shouldn't treat them BETTER than other women. But there are a couple things you need to know.
First, she don't like a guy that chases her for her looks alone.
More than anything else, a woman values a guy that appreciates her personality.
Now for the sake of yours, I''ll be giving you a heads up.
There are two types of "10's."
The high self-esteem, and the low self-esteem.
The pretty common is the low self-esteem 10's. Women here have a guilt complex. Because they are used to being wanted for their looks, but they know that they didn't EARN that attention.
In fact, most of their lives are probably coasted, and are in complete dumbasses.
It may sound harsh but I call it like that.
These women take away their validation will make them flip out and do anything to get it back. They also respond to jerk-behavior.
Anything.
(Aside from that, these women usually suck in bed and are total head cases when you get involved with them.)
Now high self-esteem 10's are women that have had a taste of the elite -they realized early on that high levels of society were attainable to them, and they made an effort to be successful, intelligent, and make the most of their lives.
These women know that they are just a little closer to a great life than everyone else, and so they are motivated to put in the extra effort.
Usually these women have good attitudes, are intelligent, have a direction in life and have lots of interests beyond being clubbing.
Actually, most of beautiful women I've dated didn't even go to the club. They like to spend their evenings being with their families, reading, or having a nice dinner with friends (or studying if they were in college).
And here's another interesting thing. These women are single for long periods of time while in-between boyfriends. Why?
Because they have high standards for themselves, and since most guys are either too intimidated to ask them out, or act too needy and pathetic around them, it's rare that they meet another man who is on their level.
But here's the good news. These women are the easiest to attract when you understand The Attraction Code.
The Attraction Code is about being a "male 10," the best man you can be.
When you start to embody the Attraction Code you will surely notice an interesting thing.
Occasionally women that are less attractive will be rude to you and you'll get an odd responses from them- that is because they know they're not on your level - I call this as Auto-Rejection Mechanism. Some girls will try to protect themselves from being rejected by you, by rejecting YOU first.
But the most attractive, cool women will respond much differently...you'll be amazed to see the most beautiful women warm right up to you as soon as you approach - whether on the street or in the bar - because they can see that you are on their "level."
The woman will thinks "finally, a guy who can hang with me; he's confident and treats me like a real person. And he's the only guy who's actually tried to talk to me today, instead of whistling from his car."
The Attraction Code is meant for these kinds of women. Of course you'll also enjoy plenty of "adventures" with all kinds of women, but ultimately this is about having the option of dating the hottest, highest quality women.
There are plenty of 10's out there waiting for you.
Don't spend another year of your life missing out.
There are men that will not be successful with women. Yes, it's true. A lot of them just won't get it.
It's not about they're not smart enough, appealing or somehow defective... It's actually a subconscious choice, that they have made without knowing.
Are you one of that loser men? Or you want to make sure that you won't belong to that group...
I'm here to tell you how.
What you will hear from me is a thing that probably would be heard in other gurus. Because it's a very subtle but very powerful fix that most of them leave it out of their list.
First let me tell you about Matt. Well, he's a good guy and likes to socialize. He has taken a bootcamp with another pickup company. But sad to say he still doesn't get the success his looking for; in fact he's not successful at all.
Wondering if I have given him a help?? No. I didn't. An attempt maybe but nothing follows.
There are reasons why I didn't help him. One being he's too set in his ways and is stubborn.
BUT, that's not the real reason. If he was only stubborn I'd have an easy time changing his mind about things. The real reason why I can't help him is the same reason why he isn't successful with women.
As I said Matt's a good guy, but every time I talk with him he's giving a vibe like he wants something from me. In fact a lot of our mutual friends have said the same thing to me about him.
He always give this vibe of having an ulterior motive. He talks to you like a friend, which is good, but obviously you will feel a vibe saying he's trying to take knowledge, power and fun from me.
The same thing happens when he's talking to women. He treats them well and nicely but he always gives off this vibe that on the corner of his mind he is up into an underlying intention.
That why we don't like hanging out with him and neither do women.
We do all have intentions with and it isn't a bad thing. If you express your sensual intentions openly they'll accept it, especially if you have good game techniques. It may even turn them on. IN FACT it will skyrocket your conversion rate if you do it the right way.
But if you hide your intentions you come off as creepy and weird. Women won't trust you or feel safe being alone with you. You could be the best actor in a pretending world but not in the real world... THEY WILL KNOW.
Being creepy is considered a "Death" card in the Tarot deck of your love life. It will destroy any chance of success you might have.
So now you know what might be going wrong. How do you fix it?
To start with, you need to be fun and unattached to the outcome whenever as you can. It could be telling a great story to a group or being a great host to a bunch of your friends. It could also be a compliment (in the right way of course) or a tease that will spike emotions in way that is fun to a woman.
Come out there and start talking to women not only for the the purpose of pickup and sleeping with them, but because women are interesting, wonderful and fun to be with.
The next thing you need is to start being clear about your intentions. This doesn't mean that you tell the woman "The whole purpose of me talking to you is so that I can get into your undies." That will instantly kill your pickup as fast as being creepy.
Just do a little changes in your behavior that will affect how your intentions be brought out and if you're consistent with what you're saying. You will see your GAME going well.
And there are so many small fixes that I could write a novel on them.
But I don't think you would want to read a novel about fixing your creepy vibe and then taking the months to implement it that it will require... Right? Don't worry I won't. I wouldn't want to spend the months writing that novel either.
I have been quite an expert on fast pick-ups. But there's one problem that I want to share with you.
You see, even though guys that can pull these off enjoy not only success with women straight out of a fantasy world and typically get women obsessed with them, with a fast pick-up comes a big problem...
SOMETIMES FAST PICK-UPS DON'T BECOME A RELATIONSHIP.
Sometimes a fast pick-up becomes a one night stand instead of converting it into a relationship.
Well, its fine for those that has that intention.
But a lot of times, you DO want to see the woman again - or possibly start a relationship with her.
Here's something I want you to know - In the past 2 years EVERY girl I have slept with has been under 4 hours.
And EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. wanted to see me again...
So why am I saying this?
I'm saying this NOT to brag. But I'm saying this so that you can realize the great amount of value I can offer you as a client of mine, and to prove a very important thing:
“HOW FAST YOU SLEEP WITH A WOMAN IS “NOT THE BASIS” TO START A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER.”
In fact there are three major points on how to have a continuing intimate relationship with a girl...
And this time I will reveal a few myths about this.
MYTH #1: "Build a 7+ hours comfort" with the girl before sleeping with her.
As I said, the amount of time you spend with a girl has nothing to do in sleeping with her.
In fact it has almost NOTHING to do with anything you do before you sleep with her. The secret lies in what you do AFTER you sleep with her.
I have got it down to an exact science. A series of actions and behaviors that practically guarantee she will not only see you again, but also be borderline obsessed with you...
Just have a natural behaviors that a person can learn from you in less than five minutes. Nothing fancy, no routines or lines...
Here's the REALITY of this situation.
The reality is some of the hottest and most intelligent women I have dated LOVED the excitement of getting physical really fast.
It's straight out of the movies, and very few guys can pull it off skillfully.
MYTH #2: You need to reassure the woman that you will see her again before sleeping with her.
A lot of guys try this... they imply that the women is "relationship material" or that he definitely wants to see her again.
Man... what a way to kill an intrigue right off the bat...
Guys do this and tend to come on wayyyy to strong. They appear too interested, too needy, to desperate to get a girlfriend.
But at the same time you should NEVER imply that it's a one night stand, or that you're just interested in bed.
This isn't very effective either...
MYTH #3: You have to be great in bed the first time you sleep with her.
Julian, who is a good friend of mine, admitted that he is bad in bed and only lasts for about 3 minutes but converts girls like *CRAZY*.
Point here, he is NOT good in bed (his choice), and STILL gets women so crazy about him, they won't leave him alone.... (it just end up the women sitting there naked, watching him playing Gears of War on his Xbox360)
May be at this point you are thinking...
"THIS IS TOO ADVANCED, I STILL HAVE PROBLEMS PICKING UP AND SLEEPING WITH A WOMAN!"
I know that.
But listen. This is an important information that you're going to need soon.
And let's be honest - when you DO start sleeping with women - wouldn't you rather have the CHOICE to see them again or not?
Have you ever avoided talking to a woman just because she was talking to another guy?
Or maybe you avoided approaching a group of girls with one or two guys with them because you feared embarrassment just because you ASSUMED that those guys were cooler than you.
There are two reasons why guys have a fear in talking with women who were with other guys.
They assume that the girl is "with" the guy, and assume he's her boyfriend.
This isn't a real reason to not talk to a woman, especially in a bar - it's a social setting where people meet other people. Plus - she's not his "slave" - she's a human being, not a piece of property, so she is free to talk to whomever she chooses.
Approaching oftenly a woman who is "with" a guy can make you look more confident, and draw out the jealous side of the guy, making him look insecure and weak.
The other reason guys don't approach women with other men points to a deep insecurity based on a simple misconception.
Men tend to be threatened by other men, instantly assuming that the "other guy" is stronger, cooler, or somehow more powerful.
This exist in an ancient survival strategy that has been passed through human minds.
The social hierarchy is very subtle, and mostly unconscious, and it's hard to tell who the more "dominant" person is in any given interaction. So when a male is confronted by another male, he doesn't know how dominant the other guy is.
He doesn't know if he will be embarrassed verbally, or as was probably common thousands of years ago, beaten up.
So it's better to play safe by assuming that the other guy is a threat. Guys that were too bold may have won a few confrontations, but it will take a single loss to end up dead or exiled from the game.
And then their genes were taken out of the "race" so to speak.
So the guys who played it safe, and avoided confrontation usually lived long enough to reproduce and survive.
The irony of this is that nowadays this hard-wired survival strategy is the basis for most approach anxiety - guys avoid women unnecessarily because they are making false assumptions.
Here is the thing, mostly when you see a girl talking to another guy in the club or bar, she's not WITH him.
They JUST MET!
For many instances I've approached a girl with a guy thinking it was her boyfriend, then only to find out that he was just a random dude who just approached her. Or he was just a friend or relative.
I have regrets to those times that I've missed so many opportunities talking to a woman just because I saw her with another guy. And this brings me to my first point:
DON'T ASSUME THEY ARE TOGETHER UNTIL YOU SEE PHYSICAL EVIDENCE. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HE MEANS TO THE WOMAN.
You'll never know until you find out. Just remember to be alert and respectful, because in the off chance they are together, the guy may be the insecure jealous type and start a physical confrontation.
So use your head - just don't limit your options by making false assumptions.
The other important thing I want to talk about is the idea that another man can be more "dominant" than you.
The concept of the alpha male is completely outdated. In the caveman days, the alpha male had real power - he had access to resources like food, and was physically stronger, so he could beat up competitors.
But ask yourself if those power still exist today. Every man can survive on his own if he has the source of income - you probably have an access to food and shelter if you're reading this. You're all set.
Plus, its illegal to use the physical strength just to beat people up. It is pretty much irrelevant to use in the modern world.
You'll always end up losing if you attack another person because the police always win.
You are LETTING RANDOM GUYS STOP YOU FOR NO REASON! if you are thinking about it.
Pardon my French, but who is HE to say who YOU talk to???
I recall all the girls I missed out on because I was afraid about some DUDE. And it makes me mad remembering that and knowing that the other guys are dealing with some crap!
When you're on your deathbed, you are going to look back on all the things you did and didn't do. How painful would it be to say "I didn't meet that girl because I was scared of another guy," or "there were so many beautiful women I could've enjoyed, but I didn't even try because I saw them TALKING to another guy."
I don't want you to be like that.
So let's understand it deeply. Seeing the other guy as more dominant means you don't really understand dominance.
You see, you instantly consider yourself NOT dominant when you're concerned with who is more dominant. There's a better focus.
You must first THINK like a dominant man in order to become dominant. And dominant men doesn't care who is more dominant. So what do dominant men think about? Whatever it is that they are doing or want.
So you see another guy talking to a group of girls. Instead of worrying about whether or not he's more dominant than you, focus on the girls.
I seldom even acknowledge other guys, because it's proven to be just a waste of time. 9 out of 10 women don't even know the guy - they just meet him.
Or if they do, maybe ONE of the girls know him, and barely the rest know him.
It's rare for girls to go out with a guy they are dating - usually they will bring a guy who is more of a protector/friend because a guy like that is more valuable when they go out on the town.
And aside from that, if he IS with one of the girls, then it will be a fair game because it means that he's NOT with the other girls.
When you are concerned with who's the alpha male, you are by definition NOT the alpha male. In fact, it's questionable whether alpha males truly exist in the modern world.
Don't assume anything, get your focus in a USEFUL place, and don't let some random dude prevent you from enjoying YOUR LIFE!
You think everything is going great with a girl and she stops returning your calls.
Aside from the fact that as the guy you are the one that do everything in order to move things forward.
In your approach, you have to have the courage.
First off, you need to keep you conversation moving, then you have to escalate physically, you have to get her number or much better you have to figure out a logistical way to take her home, YOU have to plan the date.
Men are much higher than women when it comes to the standards of behavior.
(Don't get me started on that...let's just think that girls are allowed to get away with sub-par behavior just because they are "pretty.")
It can be pretty exhausting, especially if you're not "extroverted" by nature.
...I just had a client who often complained of "extroversion fatigue."
I exactly knew what he meant about because I used to struggle with it before.
Before I started to teach myself about pick-up, and then found myself being mentally DRAINED after talking to three or four women.
I would have to sit down and rest!
I am working hard than I was in my full time job instead of having some fun and relax in those situation. Now you see how strange it is.
I would go home and be absolutely DEAD
... from having a CONVERSATION WITH WOMEN!
Does that make any sense???
And there was the overall, general fatigue. The emotional ups and downs, the discouraging results, the effort I had to make just to get women to hang out with me or to sleep with me.
It is just like I am having an overtime in my full-time job!
The first time I got into this game I had force myself to go out and pickup ALL DAY for days on end. (I was a nerd, I admit that, and had pushed it to the extreme.)
All I can say is that I have this passion in learning those stuff (very eager for the outcome after years of sensual frustration)
I am pushing myself just like an athletes that pushes themselves to the gym
I was working muscles or to be more precise I was forming NEW NEUROPATHWAYS, that I had never used before
If you are working too hard in your interactions with women. then you can relate to any of this.
There are three reasons for this.
Socially proactive is the first reason that may be new to you.
I recall when I first started lifting weights, I didn't have upper pectoral muscles - the muscle at the top of your chest just under your clavicle that make your chest look big.
Actually I did, but they were so small and weak, it took a good three weeks to even begin to feel them. Every time I worked them out I was incredibly sore and could barely move my arms.
And then I reached a tipping point of sorts, where the muscle was developed enough that I could handle big amounts of weight without all the soreness and fatigue. Your mind is the same way.
Developing your new neuro-pathways will take time. So with the level of your skills, you need to push yourself harder from day-to-day.
Another reason you may feel social fatigue is because you think there's too much to do or learn when meeting women.
Actually this is more on having an overwhelmed feeling and has somewhat a little different from "fatigue."
Being overwhelmed by certain thing can cause exhaustion to your mind that can lead to some sort of discouragement and depression. It's somewhat saying "ugh, I've had enough of this too much. I'm giving up"
I have suffered from this feeling before when I was taking notes of a lot of theories. And as I looked what I've write, I see that I am just looking at the complicated thing just like a complex physics equation.
It was discouraging to think that I had to do almost all the needed things just to get a good quality of women.
The last reason for feeling exhausted in the dating and mating game is that you are spending too much mental energy in the wrong places, wasting your focus on stuff that isn't useful to pickup.
Many men fails in attracting women and in fact almost 99% of men gets it wrong. Usually the women can't tell because most men after a harsh rejections learn to keep their inner "stuff" to their self.
But of course we can't oppose to the reality that when a guy is attracted to a girl, he is trying his best just to win her or at least know if the women likes him too.
Think about the messages we get from the media, our parents and friends, and women - it's the man's role to IMPRESS the woman and EARN "getting in bed" from her.
So Pathetic!
I hate seeing an advertisement of a guy that bumbling around a cute girl trying to impress her, even though he looks like a fool while the girl giggles like she's better than him because she's a girl.
Ok enough ranting... the point is that most guys are screwed when it comes to being in control of their dating lives.
But if a guy takes the time to adjust the way his MIND works when it comes to attraction, it changes everything.
Once you get to highest level of your interaction with women, you will truly be attractive to them. You just need to be at your best both physically and emotionally.
Let me share with you the topic about One Night Stand
Before I don't really know how to do the one night stands, and I started to understand how easy it is to apply after I have used a couple of solid pickups.
Mesmerizing what I did before, I realize that it was the beginning of major "bad belief overhaul" to my success
I began to believe that women wanted me and wants to get in bed.
Even though I know that I am not that good looking like other men, I started to think that I was that too attractive and desirable to woman
The main goal, of about 75% of my students, is to sleep with as many women as possible.
While the others have the aim to find their someone special but I don't think these aim are mutually exclusive.
You see, in order to find that special girl and to have the best choice, you should see and go out with a bunch of good women.
It would be impossible to meet your someone special if you don't socialize and meet with a bunch of good women.
One of the common phase that every good pickup artist goes through when they gets started. Where he to learn to thinks of new ways and behavior and then start to meet and sleep with LOT OF WOMEN.
He's like a kid in a candy store, taking full advantage of his new powers!
This period of learning is necessary, or at least it was for me in order to snap out of my old way of thinking, and internalize my new reality - that I am attractive and woman want to sleep with me.
You have to be really fast and have a natural sensual encounters, in order to get the success in sleeping with women though your new you.
I'm telling about a same day lays or a one-night stand.
If haven't had any experience on one-night stand, or maybe you got lucky when you were drunk, having a one-night 'stands at-will' can have the same as having a great girlfriend that is out of reach.
Actually if you know what you are doing, it will be all easy.
But a lot of men are making a way that is too hard for themselves, where they never be able to gain the initial sensual experience that will lead them to feel like "natural."
I know you want to get BETTER with woman and above of it to MASTER THE GAME. If not you will not read this, right?
NEW BELIEFS will be form coming the external results of your MASTERY that comes from within your mindset.
The newly created beliefs that you have will then be a foundation in facing the new reality in your life, and that reality is to naturally attract women without even thinking about it or without doing any fancy stuff.
First of all, if you're going for a one-night stand, there's one thing you need to know -- You won't always be able to get the hottest girl in the venue to go home with you.
Bringing a girl home doesn't based on whether she is open or not in going home with a guy, sure maybe you can her number but it varies widely on particular night.
However, there are LOTS of horny women moving around the clubs and bar anytime of the day that are open in getting lay that same day or night. And all you have to do is have a knowledge and ability to spot them.
Some of the few things that you should look for are on the way how they dressed up and on the way how they put some make-up. Many women exerts a lot of hard work just to look beautiful. And you know there is a reason for it.
The reason is they want to be approached. Although it isn't always true but is generally the case.
I also look for women who are being loud and animated. They are subconsciously looking for attention from men.
And the last thing that I look for, are women that are all standing and scoping around the room with blank expressions. Also those women that is looking around the room more often than the other girls in their group.
These are what women do in order for someone to notice and approach them.
Just take these in mind, that when you approach you don't go into full-steam running your clever routines and ****y frame control stuff. You have to take it easy.
Just be light, social, and let them know you are interested in meeting them. A simple "hey, you guys look great tonight. Special occasion?" is enough.
The key here is not to openly discuss getting in sensual or that you are looking to take her home. You see, if you talk about that, you'll put her on the spot and make her agree to bang with you, implicitly.
Rather you want to build sensual tension, as we discuss heavily in our workshops.
This is against her "rules" and will force her to keep you at a distance. You're also going to need logistical information, so that you can figure out how to get her back to your place when the time comes.
The important thing here is to act as NOT trying to pick her up and eliminating any overt sensual intention.
Just enjoy yourself while escalating appropriately and have a willingness to control the situation.
Although it may seem as counter intuitive, but this is how it works.
You have to trust that women wants to get in bed, and that a lot of the women in the venue wants to lay NOW.
Some won't and some will, and that is why you need to know how to spot and get them.
You don't want to invest a bunch of time with the wrong girl, or worse, to pick the RIGHT girl, and then mess it up after a lengthy interaction.
Vin DiCarlo talks about how he developed his book, The Attraction Code. For more information about the contents of the book and to sign up for a free 45 minute masterclass introduction to the attraction code visit www.AttractionCodeBook.com.
Showing a woman that they understand GAME is the first thing that most guys do when they meet a girl.
They'll start to talk about evolution, alpha males, how women will always cheat on their boyfriends, how they know women are more intimate than guys.
Starting now, lets consider that nonsense as "The Talk of Death".
Let me tell you why, and also give you a very counter-intuitive idea of what to do instead.
As what I have learn I pick-up, generally this kind of things will make a very poor conversation topics with women. Particularly hot ones.
This might work with the social anthropologist people, but not to the girl that any man in his right mind would be attracted to.
Now there are a few major things wrong with this strategy:
(BTW - if you do happen to meet a woman that loves this kind of stuff, by all means talk about it, I'm just saying it should not be used as a strategy in ATTRACTION for most of the female population)
1. It provokes a woman on the defensive. It's like one country revealing it's battle plans to another country that it is at war with.
It shows that you're "thinking too much" about the dynamic, which not only is a huge turn off, but also makes a woman think you're going to be a mind-trip. Not good.
2. There is a chance that her awareness level is only about 10% of yours.
Especially if you're keeping up on my newsletters on the concept called "Stepped Awareness".
Have you ever tried played a song you LOVED for a friend and they just didn't get it?
That's because their awareness didn't go through the same process that yours had - and resulted in you really liking the song...
To a woman who spends most of her time thinking about new clothes, celebrities and her problems with her boss, your talk about "the unique mating patters of the bonobo apes and how it relates to girls in the club" is just too weird for her.
This is the same reason why you'll sometimes see the biggest AFC ever with a smoking hot girl. He's normal, and she can easily introduce him to her friends without embarrassment!
3. To a woman that understand it; when you're talking about it make it seem like a big deal, when it should be plainly obvious.
About 5-10% of women actually DO get this stuff. It's obvious, intuitive and accepted for them.
These women tend to also like women and capable of open relationships, and generally a lot of fun.
But here's the thing - the guys they end up dating ALSO get this stuff intuitively.
And when you get something intuitively, you'll never go out your way to convince another person of it, or explain it like it's some huge revelation!
Now the moment you do it, those women that are eligible for your lifestyle, will instantly disqualify you.
So here's what you should do.
Well – here are the most powerful techniques that I use:
** Understand society's programming
** Understand her specific programming, and
** Appear to be under the exact same programming.
Keep your knowledge of REALITY to yourself (and if you figure out anything amazing, I would appreciate it if you share it on my forum as well)
You're going to see a big difference in your game and I want to be part of it.
Adding Touch Technique to Help you Paint your Stories
I what to share with you today a very powerful technique that ties back into displaying your personality and bringing your characters to life.
This technique is about adding TOUCH to your stories.
This really helps paint the picture of your story and get your audience more involved.
An example of this would be like "My friend and I were walking over there like this... (lock arm in arm)."
Only hold whatever touch you are demonstrating for the suitable part of the story. If you are using something like the arm and arm example, you would only do it for that short span, not tell the rest of the story arm and arm.
An example I would use in my story is when describing his weirdness would be "I would be talking with some of my friends and he would come up from behind me, stick his arm around me like this" (put arm on girls shoulder and pull her in, give her a little shake, showing exactly what he did to me).
Make sure it won't look obvious. And the key not to look that way is to continue telling your story while initiating the touch, and not looking at where you are touching or pausing and waiting for any form of reaction.
Another fun thing to add a spike on your stories is subtle hints that raise your desirability.
These include mentioning other girls in your life, having special social privileges, being the head of your group, and doing things that make you stand out.
These are all essentially tasteful ways to brag in your stories... without actually bragging. Now you don't really need these but in some instance it can can add a special spike to your stories.
Usually I often do mentioning other women in my stories. You can do this by changing the word "friend" to "girlfriend" or name dropping like "my friends Lisa and Sarah" anything along those lines.
They are just minor details and never be the subject of your story. And these need to be subtle.
Do not provide an explanation for them to make it theme authentic. If part of your story involves you hooking up with multiple people, don't provide an explanation for it, instead just keep talking, it's not the focus on the story and by not providing an explanation, it comes off as a perfectly natural thing that is no big deal.
Once you have thrown in all these fun storytelling tactics it time to give it the once over.
Be sure to eliminate all redundancies and unnecessary content. And make sure your story is moving along and does not drag out. That is the biggest problem people make, they drag their stories out too long about things that don't affect the overall story.
For this time... you should be aiming for about 2 minutes stories.
How much you share all depends on how your storytelling skills develop. A Masterful storyteller could capture their audience attentions for 20 minutes. But for now, focus on getting 2-3 solid minutes of your audiences attention.
Remember to look for clues of people fading out so you know when to speed things up and get to the punch line.
Always make sure you are keeping eye contact, this will help hold the audiences attention.
Let's have the revised version of my story but before that lets take a look at the original example of...
"So the other day I am at club voodoo with my friends and I am going around making some new friends and having a good time. Well this one guy somehow works his way into my group but then ends up not leaving us alone all night, and he was a really annoying person that you just don't want to talk to. He kept making every interaction in the club awkward and would not leave until he actually gets a hint and goes home."
So here is the FINAL revised version. Enjoy:
Me: "Hey guys...how do you deal with people when you just caaaaannt get them to leave you alone?!"
Group: "blah blah"
Me: "Yeah that's interesting so check this out...the other day I am at Club Voodoo, you ever been? (Check in point)...Cool, anyway I walk in with a group of my friend Lisa and some friends she brought along. There is a decent amount of people in the club, we are all having a great time and meeting lots of cool new people.
Well this one guy somehow works his into my "group" and he just has this annoying vibe. Like he is so out of place, he was walking around with a Harley Davison Motorcycle hat on and like this tainted banana colored polo. You know when someone just clearly does not belong and seems out of place... kind of like that guy (Put arm on person from audiences shoulder and point to someone else outside the audience)
So my friends and I keep trying to avoid him but he just won't back down, he would just follow us everywhere we went, buzzing around like a mosquito...with a really bad taste in clothing...like you have no idea how bad it was, I would be talking to some of Lisa's friends and he would come up, stick his head between us and wrap us both in his arms and give us a little shake like this...(Do exactly what he did on them) And the worst part is he had this nasty...thick breath....oh it was terrible.
(Random Story Telling Tip: Appeal to the senses, especially the smell, it is the least addressed and most memorable.) Anyway... my friends and I try to get away by going to the VIP floor and we have been drinking the free energy drinks all night and made a super tall pyramid out of cans. (Illustrate structure with arms).
Then all of a sudden, the creepy guy weasels his way onto the floor and sits down at our table... and like a jackass he tries to add a can to the structure. (Start slowing things down for the punch line)
Little did he know... that although the Red Bull on the top of the structure was opened... it was full... so this guy tries to add his can to the top then BAM!...................the whole structure falls right into his lap and the filled soda can pours all over his crotch!
(Create dramatic spill scene around your crotch, getting the girl to look there, although sneaky, creates lots of subtle sensual messages)
It looked like he wet his pants!
His face turns beat red and he just runs downstairs and we assume he left the club cause we didn't see him again... I don't know what the big deal is...I thought it was hilarious!
(Share a good laugh with your audience, initiate more touch if you so please, initiating touch during laughter is very powerful)
There you see the dramatic changes these techniques can make to any story.
But there's a couple of advanced story telling tips that I want to leave with you.
- Increase your vocabulary if you are telling the same story, use powerful verbs and adjectives to bring the story to life.
- Always be painting a picture, appeal if possible appeal to all the senses.
- The more emotion you put into a story the better, the more emotion you show in a story, the more mistakes you can make because your emotion and commitment to the story covers all that up.
- Start your stories at the end. If you ever saw the movie Fight Club you will notice how you are caught up into the story right from the beginning because you are curious to see how Edward Norton's character got himself in such a dangerous situation. You can start your story at the end then build up to really captivate your audience.
-Do not memorize your stories. You don't want to sound like you are reading from a script, you want it to seem natural. It is possible to be too good at telling your stories and then it is almost like the listener is watching a scripted play. Just understand the concepts and events of your story, there should always be some slight differences when you tell your story. Practice telling it...but don't become a scripted narrator.
- Avoid pauses like "ummmm and ugghhh" everyone has a bad habit when they stumble in there stories.
- Lastly and most important to sum things up....
Tell your stories TO your audience and NOT AT your audience...
Be sure that your audience are always getting involved and as you are telling your story, keep your eyes open for cues in the interaction you do not always have time to look for.
Use these cues to find what points of your stories get certain reactions, and use them to move the story along. You pick up on different things if you are telling a story you know well, this is another way storytelling continues to improve your game.
Part II of Storytelling Techniques: Constructing your own Story
Hey guys, welcome to the "Part II" of the storytelling newsletter.
So in "Part I" we covered about why storytelling is important and how it can improve your game
Now that you are all excited to start using storytelling and understand why it is so powerful we are going to work on constructing your very own epics!
In the “Part I” there were two things I asked of you
One was to create a list of 7-10 moments in your life worth sharing, and the other was to list 5 things about your personality that you want people to know about you.
We are going to start out working with these things.
First lets take out the 7-10 story ideas and cut them down to 5 solid ideas, cross off ones that you think may not seem to interesting to other people or ones that were "you kind of had to be there" stories.
Reflect on these 5 stories, which ones do you have the most emotional connection to you, which ones do you feel the most interested in sharing with other people and which ones do you think could captivate and relate to your audience.
From that we are going to just focus on constructing 3 solid stories so you can go out and start using them immediately.
Now, your main target with these stories are women, so focus on which ones you think a woman is more interested in hearing. (Any women can become interested in any story if delivered properly, but if you have a good story about you watching dirty videos and eating pizza, it may be better left for the guys)
Also feel free to ask your friends about which story subjects they would be more interested in hearing to help narrow it down to 3 solid concepts.
And of course I'm sure there were still some of you out there that were to modest to come up with 10 ideas and only got around three, so I guess that makes your job easier.
As I said I would do this exercise along with you guys, however, taking all 3 of my stories will take time so we are just going to use one of my story concepts and build it from the ground up through the techniques I show you.
Now I am going to give you all the information on storytelling that I know and jot this story down from scratch (This actually happened to me the other day, so I figure this is a prime example)
"So the other day I am at club voodoo with my friends and I am going around making some new friends and having a good time. Well this one guy somehow works his way into my group but then ends up not leaving us alone all night, and he was a really annoying person that you just don't want to talk to. He kept making every interaction in the club awkward and would not leave until he actually gets a hint and goes home."
I know! It pretty annoying story... but we can turn this into something awesome. First we need to understand the 3 components of a good story.
The first component, is "The Hook Question"
The hook question is used to captivate the group and this is the line you deliver to introduce your story.
It’s object is to make sure everyone in the group you are telling the story gets involved.
In using the hook question make sure you have the attention of EVERYONE in the group before you start going into the story, if one person is not paying attention and they tune in halfway through your story, they are going to have no idea what is going and potentially pull the entire group away.
Make eye contact and get a response or at least a nod from every member of the group before beginning your story.
There are two different types of hook questions.
An open ended hook question and a yes or no hook question.
I feel open ended hook question are better because it gets your audience more involved with the story you are about to tell, but a yes or no one is good cause it gets you right into the story.
So a possible open ended hook question for my story would be "How do you deal with people who you just want to leave you alone?"
A possible yes or no hook question would be "Have you ever been to club voodoo?"
So let's add this to the story... (Find a hook question for your example stories as well)
I like open ended hook questions more so to start my story in the interaction I would say
Me: "Hey guys...how do you deal with people when you just can't get them to leave you alone?!"
Group: "blah blah"
Me: "Yeah that's interesting so check this out...the other day I am at club voodoo...(rest of story)
The second component is to demonstrate personality.
There are a number of ways of doing this but for now lets go to our list of 5 things that you want to convey in your identity. Try to fit as many into the story as you can.
My 5 things were:
I am a musician
I am a very social person
I have a high and fun energy
I have a good sense of humor
I am interested in video and photography
Now you want to try to at least fit 3 of your 5 things into the story, but if its awkward and seems out of place then just get at least 1 or 2 in. You need one though, but the very manner you deliver the story may convey a lot about yourself.
Other ways to convey personality is to act out your characters. Bring them to life in your stories.
Another important aspect to expressing personality in your stories is by speeding up your voice during moments of excitement and slowing it down during more intense moments to create tension.
Always be able to have tension build up to excitement or your audience will have a feeling of lack of resolution but that is the last component of a story that I will get into shortly.
Speeding up, pauses, and slowing your voice down is hard for me to sow you through a newsletter, but when you recite your stories out loud you will gain a natural since of where each belongs and will improve through reactions with your audience.
So now I am going to rewrite my story as it stands to convey my personality...
Me: "Hey guys...how do you deal with people when you just caaaaannt (exaggerated can't to show frustration with the situation and convey more personality) get them to leave you alone?!"
Group: "blah blah"
Me: "Yeah that's interesting so check this out...the other day I am at club voodoo and I walk in with a group of my friends and random people we met on the way (social) and there is a decent amount of people in the club, we are all having a great time (fun) and meeting lots of cool new people (social).
Well this one guy somehow works his into my "group" (putting finger quotes around it) and he just has this vibe. Like he is so out of place, he was walking around with a Harley Davison Motorcycle hat on and like this tainted banana colored polo (Painting this scene gets them laughing and displays humor and some understand of social norms and fashion.)
So my friends and I keep trying to away from him but he just won't back down, he would just follow us everywhere we went, buzzing around like a mosquito..(pause)..with a really bad taste in clothing (humor)...you would think he could get the hint when we were practically jogging away (act out slight jogging motion).
Eventually he finally goes away and we start to have a fun night again.
Although it starts to build up but it has no resolution, it just kind of ends. So lets go to the last component that can fix this problem. The last component is the punch line.
A punch line is often used for humor and ties up the story. Its biggest importance is to let the audience know it's over. It can be one line or much more...
To successfully deliver the punch line to your story, you need to create a dramatic build up by slowing down your words and then once the comic relief or resolution comes, you speed the conversation back up.
The punch line can be a small extension of the story to bring further resolution to the issue. This is where you can get creative and give some lamer stories a much cooler ending.
So the actual ending to my story involves the creepy guy going into the bathroom, some guy that was annoyed by him jokingly bumping into him while the creepy was using the urinal, and the creepy guy pissed on the front of his pants, got embarrassed and left.
Now, first off, it was kind of rude on that one guy's part and I don't want to associate myself with friends like that. Also...a guy pissing on himself is an odd thing to share during the initial interaction.
So I am going to do a little story morphing by combining a similar, less gross incident that happened that night.
There’s nothing wrong if you change some of the incidents in your stories as long as it can make things more entertaining...after all...it's a "STORY"
So the updated story with the new punch line now goes:
Me: "Hey guys...how do you deal with people when you just caaaaannt get them to leave you alone?!"
Group: "blah blah"
Me: "Yeah that's interesting so check this out...the other day I am at Club Voodoo and I walk in with a group of my friends and random people we met on the way and there is a decent amount of people in the club, we are all having a great time and meeting lots of cool new people. Well this one guy somehow works his into my "group" and he just has this vibe. Like he is so out of place, he was walking around with a Harley Davison Motorcycle hat on and like this tainted banana colored polo. So my friends and I keep trying to avoid him but he just won't back down, he would just follow us everywhere we went, buzzing around like a mosquito...with a really bad taste in clothing...you would think he could get the hint when we were practically jogging away. Anyway...my friends and I get away from him and are on the top floor and we make a super tall pyramid out of energy drink cans. (Illustrate structure with arms). Then all of a sudden, the creepy guy weasels his way onto the floor and sits down at our table...and like a jackass he tries to add a can to the structure. (Start slowing things down for the punch line) Little did he know...that although the Red Bull on the top of the structure was opened...it was full...so this guy tries to add his can to the top then BAM!...................the whole structure falls right into his lap and the filled soda can pours all over his crotch! It looked like he wet his pants! His face turns beat red and he just runs downstairs and we assume he left the club cause we didn't see him again...I don't know what the big deal is...I thought it was hilarious! (Final punch line, they know the story is over)
Now if you have done these three steps to your stories, you got some great stuff on your hands.
But there is still a few more sprinkles that I want you to add to your story someday.
These things are the secret little tips of the successful storyteller.
The first and most important is creating check in points.
Check in points are mini questions you throw into your story throughout to make sure you have the audiences full attention. It gets them more involved.
Examples are "That ever happen to you?" "Don't you hate when that happens?" "You know what I mean?"
Just make sure they are not obvious and sounding like you are taking time out for them to go into detail about your check in point question.
Another good way to check in is to compare aspects of your story to the current situation you are in. ex. "Kind of like that over there" "Reminds me of her (point to person)."
You should at least have two check in points. One near the start and the other in the middle. If you are doing everything right, your audience will be captivated and waiting for the build up of the punch line so you won't need one near the end.
If you see someone looking away, throw one out to regain focus.
An example in a passage of my story would be:
"Like he is so out of place, he was walking around with a Harley Davison Motorcycle hat on and like this tainted banana colored polo. You know when someone is clearly just lost and not sure what he or she is doing....kind of like that guy over there (point to someone similar)."
Full response with your check in points is not necessarily needed. A nod is perfectly okay when regaining focus of the audience.
Today I want to talk to you the concept about “Storytelling”.
This subject is very important and powerful when it comes to meeting and holding the interest of not only girls but anyone in your life.
So once you know how to used it correctly, it can make your desirability with girls sky rocket.
Before I switch into the tips and secrets behind successful story telling I want to clear up a few myths when it comes to the matter of story telling.
Myth 1:My stories have to be true and about me.
This one is up for you to decide because what matters is on how you keep the conversation fun, apply the right story telling techniques, and can keep the conversation moving, then your story does not have to be true.
Even if the women knows that your story is untrue, if you kept it fun, she will be entertained and most likely run with new conversation subjects developed from your stories.
I am not persuading you to lie though, the most powerful stories are ones that are true and come from a bottom of emotion.
You can be so over the top with stories where the unbelievable becomes so fun that she gets involved and becomes part of a newly painted reality that you and the woman get to share and more importantly create together. (This becomes a key factor in "Role Playing" and by mastering storytelling, your creativity in "Role Play Conversations" raises but sadly, the subject of role playing will have to be saved for a later issue.)
However I think the biggest misconception is not whether the stories have to be true, but is more about whether or not they have to be about the story teller.
One of the main goals of story telling is to communicate to the listener about you. Surprisingly, it is easier to convey things about yourself not the actual content of it but by how you tell a story,.
Through the power of expressions, energy, and vivid language, you can convey to your listeners such things as, dominance, humor, interests, and over all personality.
In applying the proper techniques for your story, you should be able to repeat what you heard on the news but in such a fashion that makes you more interesting and displays your personality.
Myth 2:As you get better with girls you become less dependent on story telling.
Now there is some truth to this myth in the sense that you do not go into interactions with pre-scripted stories as much as you may starting out. However, it is through the skills that storytelling develops that make you less dependent.
Instead of going into in interaction with a story you have made up or written down and rehearsed, you are able to share any subject in an interesting fashion that makes people listen.
This skill is enhanced by applying the arts of storytelling and is one of the main reasons why learning and mastering storytelling is a great way to improve not only your skills with girls, but your overall social skills.
What is storytelling and why is it important?
Storytelling is the direct means of communication when highlighting important parts of your life to the listener. Not only through context, but through delivery.
Storytelling plays a very important part in getting to know someone and the great thing about telling a story, is that it creates so many other subject topic to talk about and that a story is almost always followed by another story.
There are many reasons why storytelling is important, so if you are not currently utilizing storytelling then consider these following facts:
*Storytelling is a great way to prevent dying conversations
This is one of the most common problems that I see with many guys. They started with a great interaction, then as they go on the conversation starts to die and there is that awkward silence. So this is now the great time to bust out your story and revive the interaction.
If you know that you are armed with a story creates more confidence in your approach in entering an interaction with girls.
People are scare to enter interactions because of the fear of running out of things to say. But by developing a great story or two and keeping them in your back pocket for when you need them creates a great since of confidence during the initial approach and can really help limit the anxiety that one gets when approaching a beautiful women. You are guaranteed that the interaction will last at least the length of your story.
*Storytelling is a great way to show dominance
If you are telling a story in a right way, all eyes are on you, you are the center of attention, and everyone lingers off your next word. Holding the attention of the group through storytelling puts you in a dominant frame of you being the leader of the interaction and everyone else being the listener, waiting to see where you take the group next.
*Storytelling develops stronger social skills
This is one of the biggest reasons that I like to make sure everyone masters storytelling. Through storytelling you learn to capture the entire attention of the group. Also you directly convey your personality and it gets you accustomed to doing so. The skills that are developed from strong storytelling directly carry over into your social personality that make all conversation with you more exciting and vivid. The expressiveness you show in stories ties into your future interactions and directly improves your social personality.
*You can convey things through storytelling that you normally could not say.
There may be some interesting details of your life that said outside the context of a story may come off as bragging. But in a story, these little details are never the subject of the story thus they remain subtle but are powerful when displaying aspects of your identity.
What you convey through your stories is how you will be remembered.
Unlike most things you say during an interaction, a good story is unforgettable. How many times have you had someone tell you about some crazy story that one of their friends told them? Stories have been passed down for ages; it is an old custom and still exists till this day. The girl should be able to look back on the interaction and be like "Oh yeah, that was the guy who (did whatever interesting activity that relates to you)."
Now that you have an idea of why storytelling is so effective and what you should be aiming for when telling a story we are going to work on creating your very own powerful stories that cannot be ignored. All this will be covered in Part II of this newsletter, but there is an exercise I want you to do right now so you can directly apply all the tips and tactics to create an amazing story.
Exercise One: Write down at least 5 things that you would like people to know about you. Ideas: Hobbies, Sports you play, instruments you play, your job, your goals, your skills and achievements.
This is going to tie into personality conveying. Think of the things that you would like any friend or new acquaintance to know about you. These are the things that directly relate to your identity and make you who you are.
Exercise Two: Write down seven to ten moments in your life that you feel have changed and defined who you are.
Ideas: Vacations, Life/Death Experiences, an unforgettable concert or sporting event, a moment you succeeded, something funny that happened to you or a friend.
If you have a funny story then feel free to include that. But even if the story does not seem major, as long as entertaining, the fact that you can remember it means it has a bigger effect than you realize.
This can be happy, fun, or even sad (not depressing) but we do learn through negative experiences. We will eventually cut these down to just a couple stories in Part II but for now I just want you to get into the habit of taking note of interesting experiences in your life.
Now I know there are people that say they have no interesting stories. This is absolutely not true; everyone has something interesting that has shaped who they are. Do not be modest; even if it's a silly story write it down. You can't be afraid to share a story, sometimes they are hard to remember and if you really can't think of a past story, start paying more attention to your every day life. And if you still can’t think of one then go take a vacation, you will return with hundreds of them.
So many things happen in one day that people don't realize that it was a story. But every past event being told is a story. There is no excuse not to have one.
Now save this list, we are going to use it a lot in Part II of this newsletter to create some super powerful stories that you can always rely on. Also I will further go into the skills of storytelling and how to use them to make every story and conversation more interesting.
I am going to do this exercise along with you guys so you will get to see my story end product as well.
See you on the next newsletter and be ready to take storytelling to the next level.
A few weeks ago Mystery's the Pick Up Artist was aired on VH1. And I've seen that episode and wanted to share with you what my predictions are.
What I liked are:
The Challenges. I find it creative, fun and entertaining. Winner of one contest gets to walk around with a cute puppy in the next. Hillarious.
The Ridiculous Outfits of Mystery. Hands down to this. No one can pea**** like mystery. And the shows budget really allows for some fancy stuff. I dig it. Pea****ing that hard is actually quite a challenge. Don't believe me? Go to your local lair and look at all the guys who try it and get it wrong. It's a trainwreck.
The Students. They were the #1 reason why I do what I do. Generally, I love pick up students, they're always so eager to learn, share a common interest with me, and so grateful for the even the smallest amounts of improvement they make.
What I didn't like:
Mystery's so attached to his structured method that he hadn't known why some of his students fail. He literally has blind spots as to why his students get blown out... Yeah he should have used a false time constraint". How about his lame body language, complete lack of masculine vibe and messed up compliance ratios?
Tired-out 4 year-old material, it was like "flossing before you brush etc.." Come on, we stopped using that stuff 3 years ago for GOOD reason! It's LAME, non-sensual conversation that goes NOWHERE! Sure you'll get the girl to answer your question, but I consider not a no PROGRESS. If you're going to have the guys memorizing routines, why not make them powerful, masculine and effective?
J-Dog's hair. I don't think I need to go into this. Looks like the poor dude passed out on a park bench in the middle of a graffiti contest. While there were certainly things about this show that bug the working pick up artist in me, I have to hand it to Mystery and VH1 for presenting the community in a good light to a mainstream audience.
Now lets go to the 4 dudes left, here's some of my predictions:
Joe: I find this guy having serious potential on the show. He has a down attitude, but he's the type that will get a certain level of success and become complacent. He'll get a girlfriend and develop his social circle and work off that. Not TRUE master pua material. I just don't see the kind of passion/drive that would carry him to Master PUAdom. He may do well on the show, however, just due to the lack of competition.
Alvaro: He COULD become a master pua for just a short span of time, and not under Mystery's tuleage. He's got that "inner flame" that drives him to excel at various things, but he needs to be consistent and really work hard for it, and overcome his fear and approach anxiety. He's still got the brakes on. The minute he gets past that, his game will explode.
Pradeep: Could become also a master pua, but he's gotta seriously boost-up his sensuality. He's in the friend zone still. Doesn't matter if he got that chick's number on the show because that was FRIENDLY number close. He's interesting but... too interesting. It's giving the woman something to be attracted to, but those things are too exterior to get that deep physical attraction that a pua needs to do fast pulls, sensual selection switching, multiple relationship stuff, etc...
Brady: Tall, good looking, fast learner. He's chill, makes steady progress. There's a big thing that holding him back... its his use of corny material and constant second guessing of himself. If he just chills out and acts NORMAL he'll be on fire. Again though, like joe, will probably become complacent at a certain level.
This show is super entertaining in general and I'll definitely loved to watch another episode if I can.
